Why are we homeschooling?

First Communion

Homeschooling, presently, has gained quite a solid base following after many years of being frowned upon and misconstrued as a sort of deficient learning method. We clearly remember before how well-meaning friends and family members around us either giving us their blank stare of disbelief or an upfront unsolicited advice to bring our son to a traditional school whenever we told them that he is being home-schooled.  

Looking back, our home-school journey started with painful a family tragedy. Back in 2008, while we were living overseas, we lost our 22 month-old daughter. We were devastated. But with God’s healing and loving support of people around us, we slowly picked-up our broken hearts and discerned how to move forward with our eldest son Zek who was barely 4 years old at that time. Wanting to spend more time with him, intent in sharing our own and shared family values and for lack of any Catholic educational institution in our host country, we searched for options, found a few choices and ultimately decided to home-school our son.

We him enrolled into one of the pioneer-provider of home schooling in the Philippines, the Catholic Filipino Academy (www.catholicfilipinoacademy.com) from Pre-school up until Grade 6.

We had a great time learning lessons together, making it fun and creative. Despite living in a foreign land, Zek learned a lot about our Filipino culture specially our religious belief while taking advantage in learning other things around him. We use lots of Legos, game boards and materials that can be interactive to help us to have more fun in learning. Admittedly, making every lesson interesting to Zek was really a great challenge for us every time. He’s unending questions wore off our energy and our patience so we needed a lot of time out just to gain back our strength to finish our daily tasks. Praying together everyday is what makes us at peace together and helped us persevere.

Zek is more of a visual learner with an entertainment type of personality. We needed to prepare a lot of drawings, posters or visual aids for each topic and we did a lot of art works together that all our walls around the house are filled with hanging papers. We looked for his activities related to his lessons for the mastery of his skills. We visited museums, watched theater plays and frequented theme parks. We also enrolled him to a music class for he loves to sing. We also encouraged him to write about every event that he attended to or any outdoor activities he did into his blog site from www.zeksantos.ph to www.readyzekaim.blogspot.com for this is one of our way to keep track of his amazing journey in learning besides making his portfolio with his progress reports to be submitted quarterly.

My Lego Collections

After more than 7 years of homeschooling, we still ask the same question to ourselves every now and then especially during tough times teaching our eldest son. For now, he has started his Grade 7 in a traditional school because we feel he needed to learn and experience a real-world educational environment and to learn to deal with different kinds of people and situations too. We also decided to build our own house away from the city to improve our lingering health concerns like endless asthma attacks, sinusitis, rhinitis and the host of other pollution-related allergies.

Now that our youngest son Aim has turned 5 years old and is a preschooler, we are leaning towards independent home-schooling based on his learning pattern and do his lessons according to his interest. Aim is showing skills as an auditory learner and loves to read books. With God’s guidance, we will hopefully journey with him as well throughout his young learning life.

CFA Graduation Day

We are always thankful and grateful to God for all the amazing years of home schooling journey of our family.  After all, enjoying while working together with our kids is always a mutually learning experience we look forward to.

May God bless us all.

Happy Birthday

Dearest Maia,

Your Mom and I will never stop imagining how radiantly beautiful you will look on your every birthday. You are going to have another grand day with all the angels and the saints as you sing and worship the Lord.

Your kuya Zek misses you a lot and still asks the question "why?" you have to go to heaven much too soon and your younger brother Aim often looks at your wall portrait with a faint smile as if he knows you even if he was born long after you've left.

Happy 7th birthday dearest Maia. 
We love you forever.

From Fasting to Feasting

“Make every effort to live in Peace with all men and to be Holy; without Holiness no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14

I have been trying to prepare for the Holy Week starting from Day 1 of the Ash Wednesday by going to confession and doing what Catholics are obliged to do like fasting, abstinence, praying the rosary (which I’ve been missing to do for some time already), going to Holy mass and participating in Holy Week activities.

Let me check my understanding of fasting and abstinence;

Fasting – means no food at all but water or juices for hydration.

Abstinence – means no meat and eating only one full meal a day with no in between snacks.

After attending all the holidays, birthdays and some special events from the month of December to March, I get to use to a lot of eating full meals with lots of snacks in between including mid night snacks. For my alibi, I keep saying to myself that I need a lot of this energy food for my homeschooling with my eldest son, to keep up with my very active 22 month old baby and help both of them to stay healthy too.

I do admit that this is a tough job for me these days due to my intensifying lower back pains. For after my first born child, my pains are hindering productive moments with them ( as pains get even worst after 3 times C-section delivery) and though I love being with my kids in spite of all the challenges, I can still get to be a grouch with all these lingering pain. After all, building a relationship with our families is not an easy task to anyone, it’s a lifetime commitment.

So how can I do my reflections, contemplation, offerings and quiet moments with God who is giving me all the strength I need to do my daily life without being interrupted?

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

I’ve started cutting down my food intake about a week before hoping that I can do without it during the days required and sneak out to pray my rosary daily as much as  possible when kids are sleeping. Amazingly, I was able to do with one full meal for days (aiming for fasting now) and my two boys cooperated during our quiet times with God’s help for we cannot do it if only with our own will. God even gave me a bonus; I was able to write this story. I have started a lot of my writings but to no luck in finishing even one until now.

“The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made.” Psalm 145:13

I have learned that Lenten season is the best time for receiving blessings from God by asking His forgiveness, by connecting with Him in doing a lot of readings or study about Him and most of all, building our personal relationship with Him by opening all our means of communication with Him.

I also learned that fasting during Holy week is not only self denial from food which is our most basic needs but also from all our negative emotions and habits that leads us to hurting our self, hurting each other and mostly hurting God.

Fasting from focusing on our weakness and problems will lead us to feasting of prayerful time that strengthens our relationship to God.

Fasting from fears and worrying will lead us to feasting with the divine will.

Fasting from discontentment will lead us to feasting with gratefulness.

Fasting from anger will lead us to feasting with patience.

Fasting from sadness will lead us feasting with true joy and humor.

Fasting from complaining will lead us to feasting with appreciation.

Fasting from hostility will lead us to feasting with non-resistance.

Fasting from forgiveness will lead us to feasting with forgiveness.

Fasting from sorrow will lead us to feasting with serenity.

Fasting from hatred will lead us to feasting with love.

Fasting from harsh criticism will lead us to feasting with genuine helpfulness.

Fasting from resentment will lead us to feasting with understanding and letting go.

Fasting from blaming will lead us to feasting with giving blessings and prayers to others.

Fasting from our own comfort will lead us to a feasting with service to God by sharing to others.

And I can still go on and on from all the fasting and feasting that we can do in our personal growth with all the gifts of the Holy Spirit and giving in to the greater glory of God.

I intend to focus and work harder on all of these, hopeful that I can do better each day for God deserves only the best from us.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

A Life Without Regrets

Four years ago on this very same day, my family underwent the most painful agony of losing our beloved then 22-month old daughter Maia. It happened during sun-break which normally symbolize a new day, a new hope, a new chance. But not that day for it everything went black and numb for us as we struggled to cope with it even as our eldest was still confine and being tested in the hospital since the doctors fully knows not what afflicted our children. Four years has past but the same pain pinches us whenever we remember and most especially this day. It never really goes away and you learn to live with it by God’s grace.

In the weeks after that, one contemplation I had is that going through that loss will undoubtedly be my most painful one as long as I live. Nothing else.

But I was once again mistaken.

A few weeks ago, our youngest son Aim, who is just 16 months, also had a fever and in less than a 24 hours, started convulsing and seizing. He was nursing a 39.7 degree fever which the city hospital a few hours ago already dismissed as a normal child flu and for which we were already sent home after a few hours of medication. My wife and I froze as I held him and as he stiffened his extremities and his eyes went rolling as he closes them slowly. We put him in the lavatory and let the running water run through his lower body. Afterwards, my wife brought him to the shower while I look for the car keys. I took Aim, who was already wrapped in a bath towel and was still half-conscious, and rushed out. I tried to wake him up by calling his name profusely and massaging his legs and body. I was somewhat relieved after he vomited his medicine which my wife also force-fed on him a while back. On the way to nearest hospital, we were all praying as I was blowing the horn endlessly and beating around every red traffic light. In the hospital, the doctor, provided him IV medicines which we later learned to be anti-seizure drugs. On the other hand, she did not address his high-fever that continued to hover between 39.2 to 39.4 degrees. I would feel his occasional body jerks as I carried him. 

And then I broke into tears.

Once again I found myself pleading to God to spare our child from his delicate state. I prayed and hoped against all hope that to lose another child is not another destiny for my family to go through. 

My wife embraced me and so did Zek. 

We were all crying as we held Aim.

A few days afterwards, Aim recovered without the doctor being able to pinpoint his affliction despite the battery of tests they initiated – MRI, ECG, X-ray and blood tests. We immediately went back to Philippines. Yet, barely a day after arriving, another accident happened as my wife slipped down the stairs and she hit her head, opening up a 3-inch wound. With blood gushing down her face, we were back in the hospital ER once again. Luckily for us, her wound appeared superficial after her x-ray check. It was cleaned and wound-dressed and we were allowed to go home after several hours. They gave my wife pain-relievers, antibiotics and two shots of anti-tetatnus vaccine for the next couple of days. I went back to China by myself after 3 days. But misfortune of misfortunes and on my second day of return, I learned from my wife that my mother was already confined 2 days in the hospital due to her bleeding ulcer. Still, by God’s grace, she would not be required to undergo operation in this moment and that her oral medicines will help her heal normally.

So why am I sharing this you?

Why am I letting others know that in a span of days, I almost or could have lost another family member to a sickness or accident.

One reason - life is too short.

I want to re-assure you that life is too fragile to be lived in regrets, in lies and deceits. It is too short to be overcome with anger, hurts and lingering hatred. It is more precious than proving who is right and who is better than the other and letting pride comes in between. It is not a friend of time when it is spent away from loved ones especially from your own family. Life is meaningful when we learn to forgive and to forget what others have done to or against us. Live the lessons that we learned from them but do not dwell on them. Do not let your past define yourself, your views towards your loved ones and your relationships with them and how you deal with others.

If you have a family, be with your family.

If you have time with your family, spend it making them feel that you truly care for them.

If you don’t have time, then make the time.

We are the master of our time only while time has not yet passed because when it is gone, not all the money and wealth can bring back a second of it.

It is true and the undeniable fact.

You can just look at the endless rows and columns of tombstones during this coming All Saints Day and imagine how many regrets were buried with them, never to be brought back and resolved. Let us not add more “sana” and “sayang” into our present relationship with our loved ones. Let us grab the chance to make amends and start out new and start out right.

Once again life is too short to live in regrets.

Live to love.

Let us pray.

Dear God, I have so many hang-ups and regrets in life these days. Have mercy and help me to overcome them so I can live a life that is full – full of love for you and for others. Amen.

Comfort Zone

I was born and grew up in the city. I am used to simply going out of our house and finding all that we need by just a walk away, our friends and relatives are all just literally a call away. So I can not imagine myself living in a place far, far away from everything especially away from all the significant friends. I’ll honestly freak out unless I've got all the necessities I need around me within reach.  But the reality for the past years is that I all my family members and old friends are far away already since we stayed overseas. We meet new friends but the distance between is a sad fact that remains. My husband, kids and I, most of the time, feel alone. Under this situation, we have always chosen to stay in the city and make the most of what is around us.

As of writing this article, we are in the situation of moving to a place far, far away from the city (OK, allow me just to exaggerate a bit, he. he.). It's about 45 minutes in a private car depending on the traffic flow. In contrast though, it is just a 25-minute drive away from Rowin’s company. I should be having a heavy heart regarding this un-welcomed change, making a long argument and becoming a selfish stubborn person that I can be to not to allow this to happen. A part of me is protesting why do I have to give up everything and be a "captive" of my own family when all I need to do is work my way up my professional ladder again. I must admit that I had high expectations when I was still studying, dreaming to drive my own two-door top down white car, to have my own big dream house (but I surmised that this is just a fad that can easily fade away) and traveling around the world enjoying every beauty of God’s creation. On the other hand, I unceasingly pray to God for a happy, peaceful and loving family too (this needs a continuance of good relationship and ,with lots of prayers, will give a lifetime of personal achievement). 

Amazingly, my husband did not even sweat out when he asked me to relocate again to this far-flung place for I did not want to waste my energy disagreeing or giving him a heartache knowing it was his foremost decision to move there. I prefer for us to be in good spirit as much as possible to wherever destinations or whatever situations we may be. Our relationship is more important than anything else and so I agree instantly though I still have some hesitations. It all ends up to having more quality time that could be spend into more productive and valued moments together especially with the home-schooling of  Zek. This would also imply less exposure to crowded areas thereby avoiding most of the common possible acquired  illnesses for Aim. Meanwhile, me and Rowin could catch a breeze of fresh air and spend more time to refill our diminishing love tanks.

I prayed to God that He disciplined me from all my selfish ambitions us as we follow His path. If it’s my way that is not according to His will, then may He transform my heart towards the right direction for there is no easy way to a good life, prioritizing the importance of values and not our valuables.

Lots of things needed to be considered, like basic necessities, schools and after home-school activities for Zek, supermarkets or markets nearby, reliable hospital (our top priority for my allergic, asthmatic, prone to sickness boys) but unfortunately, the nearest one is about 15 minutes travel time by car. Thinking all of these stuffs reinforces my worries and these concerns me a lot. I do realize that this shows me how little faith I have in our God. I feel shamed by these moments that I need to undergo every time we face changes away from our comfort zone when our regular daily life gets disturbed.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” - Matthew 6:25-34

Truly, it all goes without saying that to depend on God’s unconditional love to us is always the primary option and the rest will follow as we humble ourselves before Him. 

As Rowin is leading our family, I will be ever supportive of his headship as I can be and we will be praying together that may the Lord strengthen us, lead us and show us His wisdom that we may gain knowledge from it according to His will. Yes, not our will be done. 

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

"...be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.' Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober; be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." 1 Peter 5:5-8

E.R. Moments

Since we get back end of July here in China, we have been in and out of the emergency room of the Maternity and Child Hospital in Zhuhai. This is not counting the regular visit to the doctor’s clinic for check-ups. Despite the stress and sorrow, we somehow were able to make every visit a learning experience for each one of us except of course for our one-year old son Aim who’s getting all the pains during these visits.

Rowin and I were challenged in understanding every hospital signs translations and communicating with doctors and staffs speaking very little English. On the other hand, they were very patient to explain their intention and were helpful, accommodating every request we have just to reduce the trauma for Aim (imagine IV injection through the hand vein instead of the head!)

Sleepy Zek was supportive and cooperative all those times, getting a lot less of his regular night sleep without any single protest though we have been going very early in the morning usually between midnight to the wee hours in the morning. He just spent most of his time turning the hospital TV into his personal entertainment watching cartoon cable TV Channel even if it was in Chinese languages. He alternated this with his math worksheets or computer games, things he cannot just do on a regular day of lesson time. And the best part of each trip was a Mcdo breakfast meal, just like his daddy promised!

Zek was also curiously observing the reactions of each patient child in the E.R getting their infusion shot mostly done on the head for babies and on extremities for some toddlers. But he never did watch Aim’s turn to get the IV injection. He somehow felt his pain too.

Being in the medical profession (though I was not able to practice full-time after marriage), I thought that I have enough health safeguards to keep my family from getting ill often or to at least prevent those critical ones. But the reality is that in spite of my full-time personal home care, being cautious in everything we do, overly protective in their activities, practicing hygienic routines and keeping the floor sanitized if not squeaky clean, they still easily can catch colds. Zek has coughs, sometimes with fever, almost every month and it the same with me and my husband. Aim’s diarrheal bouts, in all likelihood due to his G6PD, cow’s milk allergies, lactose intolerance or Gastroenteritis is like a never ending battle for him since birth accompanied. He vomits at some occasion and his skin rashes never go away.

These situations lead me all back to our Almighty, God our Healer, our Creator and the Most High.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” PROVERBS 3:5-6

Every IV injection to Aim’s body quiet us down to pray on our own ways that the nurse will get it in one attempt, that may the therapy being done without undergoing the same procedure again up to the time we checked out, hoping that it will always be the last. Aim got five times of IV injections within our four visits that made his arms and feet swollen, had fifteen times bowel movement in less than 16 hours and he lost almost 2 kilos in which was hard gained since birth. We can feel some of his bones directly under his skins. We do not get tired carrying him for long hours during the entire IV sessions and even back home since he does not have the energy to cry anymore, has totally lost his appetite and shows no interest about his surroundings.

This is such a low point for us and in this entire event we keep humbly seeking God’s wisdom and guidance for it is always a rewarding feeling whenever the medications, therapies or any treatment done are showing signs of good effect.

Healing is a long course of action in any aspects and our faith in God too is still a work in progress that we may keep it all high up to Him. 

My prayer is that may God guide us to pursue His will in our daily struggles in life and that we may make use of our sacrifices and suffering to be our submissions and offerings to Him.

Easter is About Kindness

Springtime is nearly over in China.

The cool breeze of air can now only be felt during the early morning.

And it’s the perfect time to do my morning jogs.

A few days ago, I came across an old man who was staring straight at something on a stone wall fencing with metal grills. He was alone and with a rather untidy clothes though I doubt it if he is a street beggar looking for scraps on the other side of the fence. Curious at what he would do next, I walked slowly as I came near him. And there he was, with his frail hands he reached out for a dangling vine whose tiny green rootlets has lost their grasp of the wall. The old man simply wanted to help the poor vine get back on its comfort zone to continue its growth. A very simple gesture that spoke a volume of kindness.

With this I remember some of my shameful and unkind acts that I committed as a young boy. I know I like hitting tree branches with a sturdy stick until all their leaves have fallen. I would kick our banana trees on our backyard just to mimic fighting scenes I have watched in cartoon shows. Oh and about those dragonflies that we caught, we would remove one of its wing and tie a string on its tail so we can still easily catch it back after it desperately tries to fly away. Well, in my lame defense, I would say those actions of mine were ignorant acts borne from curiosity and an equally ignorant peer crowd (we were all neighborhood kids then free to play in vast fishpond grounds without adult supervision). My bad.

But now that I am a grown-up, I have no more excuse to be unkind. Well, that seems to be the norm but the reality is I actually noticed myself finding more lame excuses for my bouts of unkindness. Safe to say, that a lot of us are guilty as we have the following often-used excuses as well.

“I have no time.”

I got deadlines and meetings to attend to. I got products to check and projects to manage. I must bring my son to the barbershop. I got to buy groceries. I must repair some broken house fixture. I need to read my emails. I am so busy that I simply have no time to pause and think of anyone who might need my attention in a particular moment.

“I don’t have enough.”

I once heard somebody said that if he wins the lottery he will give half of his winnings to charity. And so everyday, he places his bet in the hope that he finally gets his wish as a pre-condition for his kindness. Surely, all of us got bills to pay, mouths to feed, children to send to school, families to support and some vices (e.g. chain-smoking etc) and fads (e.g. IPhone4 upgrades etc) to indulge to and that leaves us with a few clanking coins to put into our piggy bank for the next IPhone release.

“It’s not worth it.”

To re-phrase that – “they are not worth my effort.”. Beggars will continue to beg even if they have chance to improve themselves. Worst, some begging are already a part of a syndicate that actually victimizes human kindness. Almsgiving nowadays is just the lazy way to earn money to support their own vices as well. Mendicancy is a lazy man’s career.

Which brings us back to the old man helping the vine get back to its clinging position. Time for him is important as he too old to walk fast enough to get back to his home. And yet he stopped. He didn’t have any special tool to fix the vine. He used his only available tool – his frail hand. The vine, for what its worth, is just an ordinary looking vine which would be easily cut and discarded by the gardener at his next cleaning round. And yet he did not mind at all.

More than two thousand years ago, God showed and fulfilled His ultimate selfless kindness we will ever see. God made the time to plan and perpetuate our salvation by sending His only begotten Son. He gave his all for the ransom of all. And he did this despite our perceived unworthiness of His mercy and love.

The greatest act of kindness to each and every one of us was consummated on Easter Day.

Hopefully, we all learn to show some semblance of this kindness to those around us.

Happy Easter to all.

(originally posted on April 22, 2011)

Alone But Not Alone

Do you miss a loved one who had gone ahead? Below is a poem I read somewhere titled, “Alone But Not Alone”:

Alone yet never quite alone. I have an empty chair but sometimes in the silence, I imagine you are there. The good companion of the past, no longer here with me; and yet in some mysterious ways, you keep me company. Thought or spirit? Does it matter? Words are meaningless, as I feel that you are somewhere near. Though nothing’s seen or said, the bitter moment passes and my heart is comforted. I receive the strength I need, am rescued from despair. Maybe that’s the way God works—the answer to a prayer. Though the pain is never lost and the future is unknown, I face the years that lie ahead, alone, yet not alone…

From: Moments-Going Home by Fr. Jerry Orbos, Nov. 7, 2010

(originally posted on November 8, 2010)