Why are we homeschooling?

First Communion

Homeschooling, presently, has gained quite a solid base following after many years of being frowned upon and misconstrued as a sort of deficient learning method. We clearly remember before how well-meaning friends and family members around us either giving us their blank stare of disbelief or an upfront unsolicited advice to bring our son to a traditional school whenever we told them that he is being home-schooled.  

Looking back, our home-school journey started with painful a family tragedy. Back in 2008, while we were living overseas, we lost our 22 month-old daughter. We were devastated. But with God’s healing and loving support of people around us, we slowly picked-up our broken hearts and discerned how to move forward with our eldest son Zek who was barely 4 years old at that time. Wanting to spend more time with him, intent in sharing our own and shared family values and for lack of any Catholic educational institution in our host country, we searched for options, found a few choices and ultimately decided to home-school our son.

We him enrolled into one of the pioneer-provider of home schooling in the Philippines, the Catholic Filipino Academy (www.catholicfilipinoacademy.com) from Pre-school up until Grade 6.

We had a great time learning lessons together, making it fun and creative. Despite living in a foreign land, Zek learned a lot about our Filipino culture specially our religious belief while taking advantage in learning other things around him. We use lots of Legos, game boards and materials that can be interactive to help us to have more fun in learning. Admittedly, making every lesson interesting to Zek was really a great challenge for us every time. He’s unending questions wore off our energy and our patience so we needed a lot of time out just to gain back our strength to finish our daily tasks. Praying together everyday is what makes us at peace together and helped us persevere.

Zek is more of a visual learner with an entertainment type of personality. We needed to prepare a lot of drawings, posters or visual aids for each topic and we did a lot of art works together that all our walls around the house are filled with hanging papers. We looked for his activities related to his lessons for the mastery of his skills. We visited museums, watched theater plays and frequented theme parks. We also enrolled him to a music class for he loves to sing. We also encouraged him to write about every event that he attended to or any outdoor activities he did into his blog site from www.zeksantos.ph to www.readyzekaim.blogspot.com for this is one of our way to keep track of his amazing journey in learning besides making his portfolio with his progress reports to be submitted quarterly.

My Lego Collections

After more than 7 years of homeschooling, we still ask the same question to ourselves every now and then especially during tough times teaching our eldest son. For now, he has started his Grade 7 in a traditional school because we feel he needed to learn and experience a real-world educational environment and to learn to deal with different kinds of people and situations too. We also decided to build our own house away from the city to improve our lingering health concerns like endless asthma attacks, sinusitis, rhinitis and the host of other pollution-related allergies.

Now that our youngest son Aim has turned 5 years old and is a preschooler, we are leaning towards independent home-schooling based on his learning pattern and do his lessons according to his interest. Aim is showing skills as an auditory learner and loves to read books. With God’s guidance, we will hopefully journey with him as well throughout his young learning life.

CFA Graduation Day

We are always thankful and grateful to God for all the amazing years of home schooling journey of our family.  After all, enjoying while working together with our kids is always a mutually learning experience we look forward to.

May God bless us all.

Grace To Be Born re-visited

October 30, 2013

By Zek Santos

Later, we went to Grace to Be Born center where we met and played with the babies. Their names are Bryan, Nicole and Mary Grace. I taught Mary Grace also how to walk. Then we  went home afterwards.

(Rowin: This year’s October 30 is the 5^th death anniversary of our beloved Maia. We visited the GTB center and let Aim and Zek played with the lovely and friendly children. There were presently 4 toddlers and 4 infants in the center. Each child has a silent story to tell of how the intervention of kind souls prevented the tragic loss of their lives.

Thanks to Tita Ester, GTB administrator for allowing us this meaningful visit) 

A Life Without Regrets

Four years ago on this very same day, my family underwent the most painful agony of losing our beloved then 22-month old daughter Maia. It happened during sun-break which normally symbolize a new day, a new hope, a new chance. But not that day for it everything went black and numb for us as we struggled to cope with it even as our eldest was still confine and being tested in the hospital since the doctors fully knows not what afflicted our children. Four years has past but the same pain pinches us whenever we remember and most especially this day. It never really goes away and you learn to live with it by God’s grace.

In the weeks after that, one contemplation I had is that going through that loss will undoubtedly be my most painful one as long as I live. Nothing else.

But I was once again mistaken.

A few weeks ago, our youngest son Aim, who is just 16 months, also had a fever and in less than a 24 hours, started convulsing and seizing. He was nursing a 39.7 degree fever which the city hospital a few hours ago already dismissed as a normal child flu and for which we were already sent home after a few hours of medication. My wife and I froze as I held him and as he stiffened his extremities and his eyes went rolling as he closes them slowly. We put him in the lavatory and let the running water run through his lower body. Afterwards, my wife brought him to the shower while I look for the car keys. I took Aim, who was already wrapped in a bath towel and was still half-conscious, and rushed out. I tried to wake him up by calling his name profusely and massaging his legs and body. I was somewhat relieved after he vomited his medicine which my wife also force-fed on him a while back. On the way to nearest hospital, we were all praying as I was blowing the horn endlessly and beating around every red traffic light. In the hospital, the doctor, provided him IV medicines which we later learned to be anti-seizure drugs. On the other hand, she did not address his high-fever that continued to hover between 39.2 to 39.4 degrees. I would feel his occasional body jerks as I carried him. 

And then I broke into tears.

Once again I found myself pleading to God to spare our child from his delicate state. I prayed and hoped against all hope that to lose another child is not another destiny for my family to go through. 

My wife embraced me and so did Zek. 

We were all crying as we held Aim.

A few days afterwards, Aim recovered without the doctor being able to pinpoint his affliction despite the battery of tests they initiated – MRI, ECG, X-ray and blood tests. We immediately went back to Philippines. Yet, barely a day after arriving, another accident happened as my wife slipped down the stairs and she hit her head, opening up a 3-inch wound. With blood gushing down her face, we were back in the hospital ER once again. Luckily for us, her wound appeared superficial after her x-ray check. It was cleaned and wound-dressed and we were allowed to go home after several hours. They gave my wife pain-relievers, antibiotics and two shots of anti-tetatnus vaccine for the next couple of days. I went back to China by myself after 3 days. But misfortune of misfortunes and on my second day of return, I learned from my wife that my mother was already confined 2 days in the hospital due to her bleeding ulcer. Still, by God’s grace, she would not be required to undergo operation in this moment and that her oral medicines will help her heal normally.

So why am I sharing this you?

Why am I letting others know that in a span of days, I almost or could have lost another family member to a sickness or accident.

One reason - life is too short.

I want to re-assure you that life is too fragile to be lived in regrets, in lies and deceits. It is too short to be overcome with anger, hurts and lingering hatred. It is more precious than proving who is right and who is better than the other and letting pride comes in between. It is not a friend of time when it is spent away from loved ones especially from your own family. Life is meaningful when we learn to forgive and to forget what others have done to or against us. Live the lessons that we learned from them but do not dwell on them. Do not let your past define yourself, your views towards your loved ones and your relationships with them and how you deal with others.

If you have a family, be with your family.

If you have time with your family, spend it making them feel that you truly care for them.

If you don’t have time, then make the time.

We are the master of our time only while time has not yet passed because when it is gone, not all the money and wealth can bring back a second of it.

It is true and the undeniable fact.

You can just look at the endless rows and columns of tombstones during this coming All Saints Day and imagine how many regrets were buried with them, never to be brought back and resolved. Let us not add more “sana” and “sayang” into our present relationship with our loved ones. Let us grab the chance to make amends and start out new and start out right.

Once again life is too short to live in regrets.

Live to love.

Let us pray.

Dear God, I have so many hang-ups and regrets in life these days. Have mercy and help me to overcome them so I can live a life that is full – full of love for you and for others. Amen.

26 Pages

In our present age of internet and electronic banking, more and more people are into paper money as growth instrument of their personal riches and treasure.

Some people have a portfolio list of their blue-chip stocks purchases.

Some people hold onto their investments in mutual or hedge fund management.

Some people safe-keeps a folder of land title certificates of properties they own.

For me and my wife, however, our most prized possession of paper record consists 26-page deposit of “wealth” that we are keeping and which we traditionally review once in every year for the past three years. Each passing year, it is becoming clearer to us how we can still consider ourselves to be one of the richest family despite losing one of our priceless treasures. Tears still run across my face every time I re-read each and every single page, while the pain and deep longing surfaces up from their very long slumber.

Yes, three years ago, we lost our daughter Maia.

But that devastating moment also made us realized how enormously loved we are by God, by our families, our relatives and our friends.

Matthew 5:4 says “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Yes, our greatest paper treasure is the 26 pages of double-columned compilation of all loving assurances, spirit-filling empathies and advices, strength-renewing anecdotes and faith-building messages that we received from a lot of close people and even from people we never personally met before. Actually, this compilation did not even include those who personally embraced us, condole with us and cried with us, but this is enough testament for us on how God can send and use willing people to be sources of comfort in times of distress.

So to all our dear friends who allowed yourselves to be God’s instrument of comfort during our desperate time of grief, once again, our sincerest gratitude.

We may not be able to thank you enough but we will do pay it forward to others who are in need.

Sirach 6:14-17

Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure.

Faithful friends are beyond price, no amount can balance their worth.

(originally posted on October 26, 2011)

A Letter to Angel

Dearest Angel,

We never had the chance to meet but a part of me knows you already.
Not fully but just enough to write you this short letter.

We met your family today and we felt your parents’ pain despite their subtle attempts to hide behind their smiles and lively conversations. Your two ate’s (elder sisters) are more quiet than their usual because in their young hearts they know it though still void of full comprehension.

Not too long ago, your unexpected coming became a momentous event for your family.
Everybody became excited and each one, in great anticipation, would have certainly dreamed how you would become the apple of each family member’s eye. Both of your sisters may have been looking at some of their old stuffs and toys, wondering if you still would like them despite being outdated and out of fashion. Anyway, they know that it does not matter to you because you will just be overly proud to have wonderful sisters to play with and look after each other.

Your parents seek the best medical support they can find for you and your mommy. They wanted to make sure that your health and safety are foremost in their chosen doctor’s agenda.
In the end though, God’s plan for you prevailed.

It was not meant to be.

In a sudden twist of fate, you were called back to heaven while still only around 5 months inside your mother’s womb. And as it turned out, your unexpected coming was preempted by your unexpected departure. Your family’s joyful expectation became, in an instant, overcast with clouds of pain and grief.

I write to you because you are not only Angel as a namesake given by your parent but a heavenly-ordained angel, a cherubim playing angelic tunes with a golden lyre.

With your intercession, your family can grieve with the hope of healing in due time.
With your intercession, your family can cope with the pain of losing by being comforted by the truth that you are now safely back in our Lord’s embrace.
With your intercession, your family can move on to find meaning from all of these hurts.

I know you can read this and our faith dictates that you will come to your family’s side with your own prayers for them.

I know that you love them this much because we have seen how much they love you.
We join your family in prayers.

love,
Tito Rowin and Tita Menchie

PS. Please say hi to our Maia up there.

Angel was supposed to be the third daughter of our good friends but due to an unforeseen medical condition, she left them before even she was born. What makes the loss more painful was when the communist authorities strongly opposed and denied, as a matter of their alleged strict policy, their request to claim her fetal remains for proper Catholic burial in our home-country. Our grieving friends can only lift up to God all these things that has happened to their baby.

(originally posted on December 5, 2010)

Stay-Home-Mom by Lisa

From Dr.Laura Schlesinger’s Book - http//:www.drlaura.com

By the time I was 29 our family was complete. I had three beautiful children, a loving husband, and although never money to spare, we found ways to get by. Although I had my mother and mother-in-law to babysit whenever I needed, by the time my middle son was born, I knew I could not work anymore. Something inside of me told me that I had to spend as much time with my children as I could.
There were many days where I was pulling out my hair, found myself screaming at them, and was totally exhausted by the end of the day, thinking to myself, “Any other work would be a pleasant relief.” But there were also many moments I would never trade in for any job, no matter what the pay. Those moments when your child gives you a smile or a look you never forget, moments when they would give you a kiss, a hug, or just hold your hand for no reason. Those are the moments a mother treasures in her heart foreverDr. Laura,
As I sit to write this letter, my hope is that if just one mother can hear what I have to say and holds her child just a little tighter today, I will have fulfilled my reason for writing.
…
Two years ago my middle son was killed in an auto accident. He was 22 years old. He was away at college when he decided to get in a car where the driver had been drinking; ten minutes later he was dead.
Our lives will never be the same again; the world as we knew it had been destroyed. We miss our son terribly. My husband, surviving two children, and I will never be the same, but we are trying to hold on to each other and pick up the pieces, one piece at a time.
Dr. Laura, there is only one thing I can say. I am so grateful for those moments I had with my son. Those moments, the good as well as the crazy ones, I will forever hold close to my heart. All those precious years I spent with my son now are what help me get through the day.
So please, Dr. Laura, never stop reaching to all the young moms who feel they can’t handle it, are struggling with making it through the day, who believe they “need” to work instead of being with their child, just how much it might someday mean to them to have spent those precious moments with their children. Hopefully other moms can just take my word for it: Don’t let anyone or anything prevent you from holding them, hugging them, playing with them, memorizing their smile, their laughter, their heart.

(originally posted on September 5, 2010)

Butterfly Kisses

It was early morning when I woke up early to fill-up the immigration forms on our way to Macau for the Christmas day mass. The winter morn sky was dark and only a soft warm lamp illuminated the desk I was writing on.

First, I wrote on my China departure form, then for my wife and the final one for Zek.

Hmmm, there was one spare form on the desk.

Next, I filled-up the Macau entry and health declaration forms for us.

Alas, there was another excess set of forms on the table.

Finally, I completed our China entry and health declaration forms.

Still, there was exactly one extra set left.

I suddenly felt the sadness tugging my heart.

All those extra forms were subconsciously meant to be filled up for our departed beloved Maia.

And just I started to miss her a lot again at that particular cold and dark Christmas morning.

Today is Maia 3^rd birthday.

Happy birthday to you, Maia with all our love.

We know that your heavenly celebration will be great and grandeur.

Your mommy will make a simple pudding cake for us because she knows you also like these.

Years ago, I heard this song of Bob Carlisle and I just loved it eversince.

It even became a sentimental favorite three years ago after my wife gave birth to Maia.

So it was not a surprise for me at all that Maia loved and was always amazed with butterflies.

She would stare endlessly at them until they flew far away from sight.

Butterfly kisses
Bob Carlisle

There’s two things I know for sure.
She was sent here from heaven, and she’s daddy’s little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, she talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes.
And I thank God for all the joy in my life,
Oh, but most of all…

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair.
“Walk beside the pony, daddy, it’s my first ride.”
“I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried.”
Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong, I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet sixteen today,
She’s looking like her mother a little more every day.
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember…

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair.
“You know how much I love you, daddy, but if you don’t mind,
I’m only going to kiss you on the cheek this time.”
Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong, I must have done something right.
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

She’ll change her name today.
She’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away.
Standing in the bedroom just staring at her,
she asked me what I’m thinking, and I said “I’m not sure,
I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl.” Then she leaned over… and gave
me…

Butterfly kisses, with her mother there, stickin little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk me down the aisle, daddy, it’s just about time”
“Does my wedding dress look pretty, daddy?” “Daddy, don’t cry.”
Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong, I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses..

a every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses at night…

(originally posted on January 5, 2010)

A Time To Remember

To our everdearest Maia,

Kumusta ka na anak?

I would have wanted to talk to you in simple, even baby language until I realized that you are now an angel in Heaven. This simply means that for the past year, you have been growing in great wisdom and knowledge more than I can ever gain in my entire lifetime so I might as well converse to you as an adult. Having said that, I hope you understand me, on the contrary, if ever I sounded shallow and incoherent in our letter for you.

Time does fly or does it?

Well, I guess it all depends on which side I am speaking of. Because from where we are now, it has only been a year.

But from where you are looking down, time is unheard of since eternity need not be measured.

An hour there could be a hypothetical million years here on earth.

Speaking of “time”, did you know already that when I was in high-school we were assigned to research and report about one particular Old Testament book and our priest-instructor assigned to me – Qoheleth or Ecclesiastes as we commonly know. And from reading and reporting that book, one paragraph that really stayed, henceforward, in my mind was that of Chapter 3 verses 1 to 8.

It read,

There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.

A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

For the past year, these verses were closely true in our hearts.

For there was a time when time itself was on our side.

Our family was complete.

Your mommy, Kuya Zek, you and I.

We were so happy then that time seemed to have stood still and that we could run out of hard disk and DVD-Rs to record our memorable moments. Each step of the way, you and kuya Zek find something interesting to muse and wonder abou which your mommy and I are simply more than willing to explain. Everyday is discovery day for all of us.

But time can only withhold for long the unseen and abrupt change that was ordained to our family. And with it came the most intense heartbreak your mother and I could ever feel. We prayed, pleaded and wailed for time to slow down so we can bring you to the hospital yet every second was like an hour and those few minutes that passed were like forever to reach. As I sat inside the taxi, embracing you tightly as I cried, I was hoping against all hope that our expected miracle was going to happen, that against all odds, you will come out just fine from that critical situation.

In the end, we still lost you and we were ushered into a new time – to mourn and grieve.

Yes, it has been a year and I just wanted to let you know once again that we, your mom, kuya Zek and I, miss you so much. That goes to say not just today but every single day. Your kuya Zek, out of the blue and thinking that Heaven is just a car-drive away, always pops up his idea of visiting you. He misses playing, sleeping, eating, running, watching TV and praying with you. Oh, do you remember the times when he annoys you? I bet you understand now that most of those time, he just wanted to swing back your attention to him whenever you started to play on your own. You were always his best buddy.

Reasonably so, your mommy hurts more deeply and more often among us. Eight months inside her and close to two years of enjoying your presence is really a short time for someone who loves you unconditionally. She sometimes still feel that she could have done more to avert what happened so I have to remind her often as well that, in life and death, only the Lord’s will matters. We can only seek the meaning and purpose of it. We can only trust Him despite the absence of full understanding. Please keep on praying for her in this regard.

As for me, you will always be my little, smart, cute, gifted, talented, sweet and lovable girl. I am pretty sure that you now know the times I stared at your sleep while daydreaming of how you will grow up to be a very beautiful and pious woman. I used to think about my future plans how to handle your growing years, your schooling days, your adolescence and pimple-boy-crushes teenage years, your university days, your dating years, and up to your wedding ceremony (Yup, I made this personal deadline of direct guidance on you because I also believe that after marriage, you have to be on your own in all your decision making. Well unless, of course, you or your future husband would come to me for advice which is technically not under the “paternal intrusion” category of your married life). Now, the sad reality is, I need to put them all into a secluded and dusty corner of my heart called “cherished dreams that can’t happen anymore” in order for me to keep my focus in loving your mother and kuya Zek while getting inspiration from the other corner where “the ways the Lord has always wanted our family to go forth” is located. Our Maia Outreach Programs is one of those fruits that we promise to take care of. Please always pray for us also in this regard.

As it is now, time beckons us to keep moving on with occasional sadness yet full of hope and loving graces. Your mommy, kuya Zek and I are all looking forward to meeting and being with you one day in Heaven. That final reunion is the one thing that time can never ever take away from us.

We love you.

Hugs and kisses,

Daddy, Mommy and Kuya Zek

PS. By the way, do you angels really play skips and hops on the clouds during your playtime? I asked because during our last plane trips I often wonder, while looking out the window, if there is any chance I can catch a glimpse of you with all the other angels. How happy would I be at that sight (See, I told you even grown-ups can still make silly and amusing questions. Love you.).

ditto

(originally posted October 30, 2009)